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The Glories of the Squirrels Cats Rule!!!

Here you will find:

Odes to Zuts: a Cat Literary Catalog

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Dear Zuts,

We are SORRY we hurt your widdle feelings. Very sorry. Oh, so sorry. SORRY!! We will meet you at midnight in the middle of the yard behind the LeMeilleur house, away from all the trees and ground cover, to tell you how sorry we are. Come alone and unarmed.
-The Cats
Dear Zuts,

Sorry we missed you. We guess you were hanging around with the other CHICKENS. All we saw was a hairball with a toothpick chittering maniacally.
-The Cats
P.S. Learn to spell "duel' correctly. That was embarrassing. - tc
Pecan Stuffed Squirrel Sounds GOOD for Thanksgiving
O Squirrel Tree
O Squirrel Tree -
We're gonna eat
That Squirrel Tree

The ornaments
Of birds and
Outward hence
We shall hurl

O Squirrel Tree
O Squirrel Tree
Doom upon thee
We shall unfurl!

On Squirrels

I think that I shall never see
A squirrel lovely as a tree.
A pest whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A pest that is meant for prey
And sleeps his lazy arms all day;
A past that may in summer wear
Robbed fruit from a gardener;
Within whose head no thought has lain;
Who intimitely gives us pain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But why did God make them ugly?

-Given at the Cat Poets Society
Thanksgiving Celebration
Bolduc House Salon
Ste. Genevieve, 11/24/2011
in honor of Zuts

Concerning the Way We Worked

The Cats of Ste. Genevieve would like to recognize the family of Zuts. Over the years, if they were not so slow, weak and stupid, or even if they had been a whole lot faster, stronger, and smarter, we might be a lot hungrier.
Under a spreading pecan tree
The stinking squirrel stands;
That Zuts, a mighty pest is he,
With large and sinewy glands;
And the muscles of his scrawny arms
Are strong as iron sands.

His hair is crisp, and black, and long,
His face is like the tan;
His brow is wet with feigned sweat,
He steals whate'er he can.
The Cats' Christmas Party will be in the Linden House basement with Fresh Squirrel & Herbs as the Main Course. Zuts, you are invited. Don't worry about when - we will pick you up. Just bathe to get rid of that "muskie" smell that Alice hates.
"Over Your dead body,"
is EXACTLY what we have in mind
for the Christmas Party.

It would not be the same without you.


- The Cats
We do not bite the heads off squirrel COOKIES, dear Zuts.
Thinking of you,
Where have all the squirrels gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the squirrels gone...
Long time ago
Where have all the squirrels gone?
Eaten by Cats, every one!
When will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where have all the cats gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the cats gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the cats gone?
Gone squirrel hunting, every one!
It's fun, we have learned!
It's so fun, yum yum yum!!
Dear Santa Claws,

Zuts is still alive. All we want for Christmas are his two front teeth. We think you get our drift.

-The Cats of Ste. Genevieve
Does ANYONE know how to use a pellet-gun? We could use your expertise here in Ste. Gen to improve the world.

- The Cats of Ste. Gen
For Valentine's Day get your sweetie a nice chocolate covered squirrel! On sale now from the Cats of Ste. Genevieve, as we have recently discovered stores of chocolate round about, and there is always an abundance of expendible rodents. Proceeds will assist in the purchase of pellet rifles and lessons for a worthy cause.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
What they did to the PIG
We will do to you.
-The Cats


Every March we offer tours to the "Disgusting Dreys of Ste. Gen, on which your tour guide will provide amusing anecdotes concerning the demise of the former inhabitant of each drey. Tours will begin as coordinated on your mobile phones. Our starting point will be at Zuts' new drey (one of the most DISGUSTING to be found ANYWHERE!) and end there with a light meal of fresh squirrel if he is at home. Certainly he never cleans when he IS at home. We have never caught him cleaning, anyway (a little CAT humor there). Contributions will go towards the procurement of pellet guns and lessons.
-The Feline FireArm Force of Ste.Gen

Cats: here is where to find more about squirrels….the more we know…the more we’ll get for dinner….

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Fast Facts about Fat Food:

Squirrel Facts

Famous Squirrels:
Pearl the Squirrel
Sugar Bush Squirrel

Rocky (and Bullwinkle)
White Squirrels
Fun for Squirrels
Help for Orphaned Squirrels
Squirrel Landmarks

Attention all Predators of Small, Stupid and Illiterate Pecan-Eating Vermin!

We the United Cat-Hackers invite you, visitors of all species, to email other links related to squirrels to this our website.

We will post squirrel recipes here as well.


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Eliminating Hysteria One Squirrel At A Time

CatsBook! Send Zuts a picture of your cat and tell Zuts how your cat feels about squirrels!

"I live at Studio DLW"
Favorite Food: Squirrel
Bruno the cat
Bruno. KC.
"Any Friend of Zuts is a
Meal of Mine. Meow!"
Chester the cat
Chester. Liberty MO
James Country Mercantile
"Good security
on the website, Zuts."
Bijou the cat
"Ed is fixing a nice room up
for me in the Bolduc
House Museum!"
Mrs Brown the Pirate Cat
Mrs. Brown
"Cat in the Hat
with Attitude"
Tequila, a black cat
- the best critter catcher
of North County
"It's about time to go
squirrel hunting!"
Rosie the Beagle with Glowing Eyes
I am the Anti-CAT!
Defender of Squirrels Everywhere!
Frick the Cat
"Wearer of many hats!"
Wino the Cat
"How many squirrels
are in my box?"
Telly the Terminator Cat
Telly the terminator
"I'll Be Back!"
Alice the Winking Cat
Alice "Wink" Cat
W. Missouri Pest Control
"I Specialize in Squirrels"

" Hey- I'm an Alpaca!! Who dragged me into this?"
The Scratching Post
  • Buy Bijou's New Book: How to Turn a Desk into a Squirrel Trap" On sale now in the Curator's Office

  • Wanted: Pellet guns - Pierre

  • murray the mole's "plato's phaedo revisited: can the antenicenes truly be said to be neoplatonic? elements of pure platonism contrasted with neoplatonistic expressions in athanasius, gregory of nazianen and cyril of jerusalem. thoughts?"
  • A Good Start!